God is so much bigger than I've always known, and He's beginning to show Himself to me in ways I hadn't imagined before. I and people in my life are seeing miracles, feeling true Spirit-filled convictions, hearing God's will with a clarity I'd only groped for before. God hasn't changed, so I know it must be me. My perception of God's power has grown, and the more I believe He can do, the more He does.

Yesterday, I needed to make a choice—a choice between acting or waiting. I spent the morning beating my head against the proverbial wall and finally took a walk to clear my head, begging God to show me His will. And then I did something I've tried before, unsuccessfully: I asked for a sign.

Actually, I asked for three. And in that one walk, all three signs not only manifested themselves before my eyes, but all pointed to one choice. One answer. Wait.

Signs have never worked for me in the past. Like Gideon, I so often wished for tangible assurance from God, but never saw results, never found His direction in them, and each failure chipped at my faith until every prayer I breathed was well-meant, but forceless. Limp suggestions I knew God could fulfill, but didn't truly believe He would. 70% doubt and 30% expectation for a sum of 0% effectiveness.

I'd been content with those numbers for years. I thought it was God's fault—how can He expect me to have faith in His power when He doesn't show me His power? How can I truly pray with conviction if every prayer comes with a disclaimer just in case He chooses not to answer the way I'd like?

My expectations were low, and I saw few results. No miracles, no voices, no unmistakable hands of direction. Not like Gideon or Elijah or Hagar the handmaid. And I didn't think much of it until recently . . . when I found myself hungry for more.

All those years, God knew I didn't want it enough. I was content with my doubt/expectation ratio, content with pinning, "Oh, well, I guess that was God's will," onto every unanswered prayer, and moving on with a touch more cynicism than before. But that has changed. I'm not content with being ineffective, with hearing of other people's wonderful spiritual experiences, hearing of miracles and God's power visibly working, but not seeing it myself. The time was right. I was hungry. And God flipped a switch in me.

Suddenly, I see Him working around me. Showing me His will, transforming hearts in answer to revitalized prayers, bringing back the lost, rescuing the wayward, and building my faith with every new wonder. Suddenly, my prayers feel different. My faith feels different. 49% doubt, 51% expectation . . . and growing day by day.

I'm learning that God doesn't dole out spiritual entrées to those without hunger for it. If He had demanded a deeper spiritual walk of me years ago, I might not have been interested or ready for that commitment, for the effort required to dive deeper into Him. He doesn't shove blessings down unwilling throats, but He doesn't withhold them from the hungry either. The moment my heart was truly, sincerely ready for the second course, God answered with Himself. He's taking me to the next level. And I'm ready to follow Him, to see more of Him, and to watch my expectations overwhelm my doubts until all that's left is 100% His.

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